I'm through with riddles, I know we're little...

I know it sounds exceptionally foolish to complain, but I feel like I have it too easy. Right now, things are going too well. Is that possible? I mean, aside from the usual onslaught of homework everyone has to deal with, I feel like my life isn't that far from perfect.

And nothing has scared me more.

Through everything that's going right (fun jobs lined up for the summer, coveted position on the JU campus next year, amazing boyfriend, supportive friends) I find myself constantly waiting for something to go wrong. And in my ulcer-inducing anticipation, it's like I'm stuck in a stagnant pool of unidentifiable muck that could, at any moment, turn into quicksand, and swallow me whole.

I previously held this notion that, unless I'm being persecuted in one way or another, God's not working in my life. Like there's no evidence of me trying, no outlet prompt spiritual growth, or no real reason to seek Him because everything's going smooth as silk.

I told you, I'm a very foolish person.

I was brushing my teeth and my gold cross came loose off of the chain and fell into the drain. Not so much upset, but still slightly disappointed at the loss, I snorted slightly and briefly joked to myself Great, now how are people going to know I'm a Christian?

And then it hit me.

How could I have been so shallow as to strive for that sort of attention? What kind of Christian only pays attention to her God when she needs Him to make everything better? What kind of Christian have I become that, even when the waters are calm, I use up excess energy, once again, on prayers for my own well-being?

Looking back on my prayer journal, it sickens me how many pages are filled with "I"s and "me"s. I think it's high-time to fill it up with a few "thank you"s.