Ah, Friday...

Finally Friday. Finally finally finally. But I'm not happy. Because I am here, typing to people I don't know, and not out there, doing something useful. I hate it. I absolutely destest feeling unuseful. Loathe might be a more accurate word. And that's how I've been feeling lately. Like a complete waste of creative ingenuity. You ever get that? There's no point in telling me I'm not. I know that already. But you can't help feeling it. I know I was put here for a reason, it's just rather frustrating not know what for.

It's like all of your current actions are getting you nowhere, fast. On a subway. Sitting next to a prim office worker. With a Rolex and shiny shoes. And the watch reads 3:37 PM, but then you realize the tiny gold second hand isn't moving, so it must have been 3:37 PM for the past several hours. And that's why he's on the subway too. Too get his Rolex fixed. Because office people are usually done with work by 3:30ish. And he ran to the subway. In seven minutes. Because of his watch. So you shift your attention to his shiny shoes. They are so shiny that you can see your reflection in them, as if you were looking in a beautician's mirror. With a fairly disproportionate head. And you notice there is a giant smudge under your nose. Frowning, you decide this makes you look like Hitler. With a more disproportionate head than usual. No wonder he was looking at you with such disdain.

So that's what the past several days have felt like lately. Not to say I look like a female version of Hitler, or sit with office workers in a subway often. Because I don't. Stop it. Assuming is bad.

Mental breakdowns are bad too. Especially ones in public places. Like schools. This happened to a friend of mine (not me). This friend (again, not me) let themself dwell on an issue that unravelled before their eyes the night before. It was a difficult issue, but nothing a good prayer couldn't help. Instead they mulled it over, again and again, until they became resentful and angry.

The next day, they went through the normal routine, trying to push away the problem until it became too difficult to supress, so they just got more upset as the day went on. Each one of their friends asked them what was wrong, and each time they did was like chipping away at a thinly frozen lake. Towards the beginning of the second half, one of these such friends (not me either) decided to chip away as well. Unfortunately for them, their work would be the one to break the layer completely, and cause them to fall through. My friend, trying their best at explaining the issue in a calm manner, buckled under the weight and therefore collapsed into a fit of tears, only to leave the other standing there akwardly, nodding to passersby rather embarrassed.

And so my friend, not remembering what they had said or even, more importantly, how loudly they had said it, decided to never again let it happen. In a public place, this case the school.

Because:

1) Teachers are, as are students, quite unescessarily caring, and will, in not knowing how to help, suggest the guidance counselor.

2)School hallways/stairwells, like caves leading to impending doom, echo.

3)Friends don't let friends stand akwardly.