I'm gonna have to cut you off...

Today is a momentous day. Today I have found that I have limits when it comes to my coffee intake. Especially on an empty stomach. Five quite large mugs, which just about equals ten restaurant-sized cups. That's when I need to end consumption. I was getting dizzy I was so wired from all of it. It was worse than me on Mountain Dew. (for anyone who knows me, you will understand how serious my condition was) It's worn off now, thank goodness. It's not fun, believe it or not, having that amount of energy all at once.

Now that I'm...less wired (my foot is still jiggling at a more rapid pace than usual) I should probably go fix my dad's camera like I said I would...hmm...maybe later. Like when I can sit in a chair for more than two minutes at a time (I've gotten up at least twelve times while typing this entry).

I was reading one of our toothpaste boxes today (don't ask, I don't remember) and it read

DIRECTIONS:

• Supervise children as necessary until capable of using without supervision.
• Brush teeth thoroughly after meals or at least twice a day, or use as directed by a dentist or physician.

I thought, "Okay, perfectly normal, understandable, toothpastical statements." But then I continued to read

• Do not swallow adults and children 2 years and older.

Which, of course, proceeded with following train of thought:

Hmm.

So.

Swallowing babies is okay then, is it?

I know, I know, I know. It's quite obvious that they meant "Do not swallow the toothpaste." I know what they meant. But even so, how is it okay for children under two to swallow said toothpaste? And cannibals must use toothpaste, so what do you think they're going to think when they read that? Definitely not "Oh, I better make sure Jimmy doesn't eat this!" No, they're going to think "Oh, I better make sure Jimmy doesn't swallow any adult or child two years or older before I get to them!" or "I wonder if I should order some more Hufu..."

Sigh. I can't help it. If you don't know me, you're probably staring at the screen with a rather worried expression on your face, wondering what normal seventeen year old girl would ponder such things. Normal is a rather biased term that I don't believe in, so don't waste an ulcer on me.

For fear of being sued by the company, I'm not going to mention the brand of the toothpaste, but if you really wish to view the direct quote for yourself, I will leave you with the pseudonym Appendage & Gavel and "enamel care". Happy hunting.