I had to go to a wedding shower today. It went from 12:30 until 4:30. Four hours of watching my cousin open up box after box of mixing bowls and spatulas, while poking my plate of untouched roast beef. Four hours of listening to aunts talk about what's wrong with the other. Four hours of trying to find a window to jump out of.
I'm sorry, I'm not what you call a shower person. Bridal showers, baby showers, April showers that turn into horrendous torrents in which the wind is blowing in your face and you can't see the ball during a soccer game you know you could have done better in...
You just can't force me to enjoy watching kitchen utensil after kitchen untensil with a bunch of people I don't know and/or dislike. Trust me, I've tried it. It's not like I'm not happy for the people the party is ever intended for. It just hard to get around the point that the only reason there is a party is to get things. I would have no problem just sending them something. But thanking me with a beefsteak?
My graduation party will involve a water balloon fight, and baseball. And I will show no mercy.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Every 15 Minutes
On Wednesday, I got my driver's license (finally), and then I got in a car crash. Well, a fake one.
I was a part of the Every 15 Minutes program, which is a demonstration to explain to teens the consequences of drunk driving. Apparently, someone dies in a drunk driving accident every fifteen minutes. For the first part of the day, students chosen to be "the living dead" are taken out of class by a man dressed as the Grim Reaper throughout the day. The kids come back with a black t-shirt and white face paint. For the rest of the day, they are not allowed to speak to anyone. This simulates their being "gone."
I was a part of the accident scene. The role they gave me was "the hysterical victim." The nurse said she wanted me to do it because she knew I could. Her words, not mine. So I agreed. At 11:00, I got my own make-up on. They gave me an arm laceration, a head wound (which looked like an exit bullet wound), and a sprained knee. They used this really thick fake blood to paste the wounds on. When I saw myself in the mirror...it was crazy how real it looked. I had blood all over my face, clumping at the chin, and down my arm. Bender and Krueger looked just as bad. Bender was going to be another wounded victim, and Krueger was the surprise death. We were in the atrium of the gradeschool, and a bunch of kindergarteners were trying to see inside, peeking in the crack of the door. Bender and I went over and entertained them. It was funny, they weren't even freaked out by the makeup. They thought it was hilarious.
At about 12:45, they took us to the accident scene. It was like being on a movie set. One car was crashed into a pole, and the other was flipped over. Spencer, Zack, and Elisha were in the car that crashed into the pole. They were the ones that had been "drinking." Krueger, Bender, and I were in the flipped over car. Krueger was the driver, I was the front passenger, and Bender was in the back. The police and nurses explained some of the details while a photo journalist asked us our names, and then we heard "Quick, get into the cars, they'll be here in three minutes!" It was really difficult getting into the car. It only had two doors, plus it was flipped. Krueger managed to put herself in this really uncomfortable position in her seat where her neck was all cramped up against the ceiling. My legs were all tangled in the bars of the head rest, and my face was pressed up against the back side window. Bender was halfway out the door, because he had to be the one to get out first. Then they covered up the cars with a tarp.
We heard the junior and senior class fill the surrounding bleachers. Krueger had asked me earlier if I knew what I was going to do, or if I was just going to ad-lib. I said I had some ideas, but I was mostly going to ad-lib. Couldn't make it too staged, right? My heart was pounding like mad. I had ad-libbed comedy before, but drama? It couldn't be fake, they had to take this seriously. If I screwed this up, no one would get anything from it. I had to be hysterical, but not stupid.
They pulled the tarp off.
The "living dead" started screaming for 911.
I screamed for every ounce of pain I had ever felt in my entire life.
The whole scene just...it came to life instantly. Bender crawled out of the car as he was told, and stumbled over to the other car to see if they were alright. There was an electric cord that had fallen on the car, so he fell back as if he had been electricuted. The rest of the scene he had to play unconscience. Spencer had to act drunk, so he didn't say much. He just looked around blankly. Zack was the other dead person, and Elisha had a leg laceration, so she just sat in the back seat. Krueger was "unconscience" next to me. I screamed for Bender, I screamed for Krueger, and I screamed for help. I started crying. I started hyperventilating. Neither were real at first, but after awhile, it became real. It was so surreal; everything was a blur. I recognized the officers that ran to our car; with dad's job, you pretty much get to know everyone on the department. Their reactions when they got to me made it really difficult not to break character. Schydel kept repeating "m'am, calm down, everything will be alright." I didn't, of course. If it were a real accident, would some cop be able to order you to calm down, when you just saw one friend get electrocuted, and the other is nearly dead next to you? I think not.
They took me away on a stretcher, in an ambulance, next to the dying Mrs. Krueger. They never really told me when I had to stop acting, and I couldn't see where I was with the neck brace, so when the nurses were asking me what hurt, I told them my fake injuries.
"My head hurts a lot...and my arm's cut...and I think I did something to my knee..."
I guess all of it worked. At least, from what I've heard so far. Kim said "I was fine all day, even when Alex was walking around as a dead person. Then you started screaming. Then I lost it. Why do you have to be so damn good at acting?" Dani said "You used your powers for evil. I hate you." Mom and Dad said they were glad the fire trucks were so loud, because they saw me screaming, but if they heard it, they would have ran over. Abby said that she heard me scream all the way from Daley's classroom during English, which is all the way on the other side of the block from where we conducted the scene.
I hope it all worked. I hope some people learned. I hope now Kewaunee understands.
I was a part of the Every 15 Minutes program, which is a demonstration to explain to teens the consequences of drunk driving. Apparently, someone dies in a drunk driving accident every fifteen minutes. For the first part of the day, students chosen to be "the living dead" are taken out of class by a man dressed as the Grim Reaper throughout the day. The kids come back with a black t-shirt and white face paint. For the rest of the day, they are not allowed to speak to anyone. This simulates their being "gone."
I was a part of the accident scene. The role they gave me was "the hysterical victim." The nurse said she wanted me to do it because she knew I could. Her words, not mine. So I agreed. At 11:00, I got my own make-up on. They gave me an arm laceration, a head wound (which looked like an exit bullet wound), and a sprained knee. They used this really thick fake blood to paste the wounds on. When I saw myself in the mirror...it was crazy how real it looked. I had blood all over my face, clumping at the chin, and down my arm. Bender and Krueger looked just as bad. Bender was going to be another wounded victim, and Krueger was the surprise death. We were in the atrium of the gradeschool, and a bunch of kindergarteners were trying to see inside, peeking in the crack of the door. Bender and I went over and entertained them. It was funny, they weren't even freaked out by the makeup. They thought it was hilarious.
At about 12:45, they took us to the accident scene. It was like being on a movie set. One car was crashed into a pole, and the other was flipped over. Spencer, Zack, and Elisha were in the car that crashed into the pole. They were the ones that had been "drinking." Krueger, Bender, and I were in the flipped over car. Krueger was the driver, I was the front passenger, and Bender was in the back. The police and nurses explained some of the details while a photo journalist asked us our names, and then we heard "Quick, get into the cars, they'll be here in three minutes!" It was really difficult getting into the car. It only had two doors, plus it was flipped. Krueger managed to put herself in this really uncomfortable position in her seat where her neck was all cramped up against the ceiling. My legs were all tangled in the bars of the head rest, and my face was pressed up against the back side window. Bender was halfway out the door, because he had to be the one to get out first. Then they covered up the cars with a tarp.
We heard the junior and senior class fill the surrounding bleachers. Krueger had asked me earlier if I knew what I was going to do, or if I was just going to ad-lib. I said I had some ideas, but I was mostly going to ad-lib. Couldn't make it too staged, right? My heart was pounding like mad. I had ad-libbed comedy before, but drama? It couldn't be fake, they had to take this seriously. If I screwed this up, no one would get anything from it. I had to be hysterical, but not stupid.
They pulled the tarp off.
The "living dead" started screaming for 911.
I screamed for every ounce of pain I had ever felt in my entire life.
The whole scene just...it came to life instantly. Bender crawled out of the car as he was told, and stumbled over to the other car to see if they were alright. There was an electric cord that had fallen on the car, so he fell back as if he had been electricuted. The rest of the scene he had to play unconscience. Spencer had to act drunk, so he didn't say much. He just looked around blankly. Zack was the other dead person, and Elisha had a leg laceration, so she just sat in the back seat. Krueger was "unconscience" next to me. I screamed for Bender, I screamed for Krueger, and I screamed for help. I started crying. I started hyperventilating. Neither were real at first, but after awhile, it became real. It was so surreal; everything was a blur. I recognized the officers that ran to our car; with dad's job, you pretty much get to know everyone on the department. Their reactions when they got to me made it really difficult not to break character. Schydel kept repeating "m'am, calm down, everything will be alright." I didn't, of course. If it were a real accident, would some cop be able to order you to calm down, when you just saw one friend get electrocuted, and the other is nearly dead next to you? I think not.
They took me away on a stretcher, in an ambulance, next to the dying Mrs. Krueger. They never really told me when I had to stop acting, and I couldn't see where I was with the neck brace, so when the nurses were asking me what hurt, I told them my fake injuries.
"My head hurts a lot...and my arm's cut...and I think I did something to my knee..."
"Your knee?"
"Yeah, my left one." "Wait, seriously?"
Pause.
"Um...no, it's a part of the-"
"Oh, I thought you actually hurt yourself!"
We joked on the way to the hospital, Krueger once again very much alive. Then the camera crew showed up and we had to put on the act again. The doctors thought I was going to pass out, so I've heard. After the filming was done there, we waited for Mrs. Derenne to pick us up in the FFA van. We waited awhile, and when we were in the waiting room, a little girl came in with her mom. She looked petrified of us. Bender waved. I hit him. The girl hid. I wanted to walk back to school (it's only a block away from where we were) but they wouldn't let us. They obviously didn't realize when dressing me up like a zombie does for me. I wanted to walk around public places, darn it! But they wouldn't let me. So I did the robot for Brennon's camera instead.
I guess all of it worked. At least, from what I've heard so far. Kim said "I was fine all day, even when Alex was walking around as a dead person. Then you started screaming. Then I lost it. Why do you have to be so damn good at acting?" Dani said "You used your powers for evil. I hate you." Mom and Dad said they were glad the fire trucks were so loud, because they saw me screaming, but if they heard it, they would have ran over. Abby said that she heard me scream all the way from Daley's classroom during English, which is all the way on the other side of the block from where we conducted the scene.
I hope it all worked. I hope some people learned. I hope now Kewaunee understands.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
My Mouth Is Going to Get Me Into Trouble
In my AP English class, my teacher and I are...less than polite to one another. In fact, because of an event I am about to relay to you now, I have decided I should no longer drink coffee before this class. It tends to make me lose control of my mouth.
Before class, I had consumed 5 1/2 cups of coffee. The effects of this made me forget what I was saying, and to whom. And how loud. Said teacher (whom we will now refer to as Satan) talks about being drunk, or drinking, or drinking parties, with students all the time. Satan had said that her and her friends used to play a game in which they would pick a verb or adjective and come up with as many synonyms as possible. This time they picked the word "drunk." Satan said her parents used to call it "being tight", but that didn't make sense to her, because she liked the term "loose" because it made more sense to her, because she said that's how people were when they were drunk.
Without thinking AT ALL I replied thus:
"Well, you would know."
You should have seen the death fire in her eyes. Luckily, Avery's friend Paul from Pensacola was there, so she quickly laughed, said "You are a stupid girl. You forget I still have control of your grades for 6 more weeks. You really are stupid."
That is why my mouth is going to get me into trouble, and that is why I should not drink that much coffee.
Before class, I had consumed 5 1/2 cups of coffee. The effects of this made me forget what I was saying, and to whom. And how loud. Said teacher (whom we will now refer to as Satan) talks about being drunk, or drinking, or drinking parties, with students all the time. Satan had said that her and her friends used to play a game in which they would pick a verb or adjective and come up with as many synonyms as possible. This time they picked the word "drunk." Satan said her parents used to call it "being tight", but that didn't make sense to her, because she liked the term "loose" because it made more sense to her, because she said that's how people were when they were drunk.
Without thinking AT ALL I replied thus:
"Well, you would know."
You should have seen the death fire in her eyes. Luckily, Avery's friend Paul from Pensacola was there, so she quickly laughed, said "You are a stupid girl. You forget I still have control of your grades for 6 more weeks. You really are stupid."
That is why my mouth is going to get me into trouble, and that is why I should not drink that much coffee.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
I know I've been posting some really short entries lately, but I'm sorry, this is going to be another one, because I wasn't even planning to post at all today. But this is funny. I am doing a scholarship search on The Princeton Review right now, and I got to the "Hobbies and Talents" menu. This is what I read when I got to the "Es".
Entrepeneur
Entrepeneurship
Environment
Environment Activities
Epilepsy
Now, please, class, can you tell me which one doesn't fit?
Entrepeneur
Entrepeneurship
Environment
Environment Activities
Epilepsy
Now, please, class, can you tell me which one doesn't fit?
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