You told us of your new life there; you got someone comin' around, gluing tinsel to your crown...

I realized something about myself today. As far back as I can remember, I have never really had to try for anything. Not to sound priggish, but it's true. Somehow, I am one of few people of whom success comes naturally. Even if there was the occasional instance in which something was particularly difficult, I've always decided against trying harder, or had no problem realizing it just wasn't an interest of mine, and by some luck, I did fine all the more for it. Until now.

This semester, I'm taking a class entitled Christian Theology. Now, coming from where I do, and knowing Christianity only by experience, and less by logic, the chance at enveloping oneself in deep, theological discussion was something to be excited about. The professor pumped us up by stating that, "It is not God we're putting under a microscope, but rather, our own faith being analyzed. Be prepared to go under fire."

And I was. I was, that is, until I returned from my resume-pristine, Christian-polished missions trip to the DR and checked my midterm grades.

D.

I got a D.

Pride, meet Toilet.

Immediately, I e-mailed the professor. Surely, by some slight human error, he mixed my grade with another student's? Had I not just got done talking with someone proudly declaring they did half the homework assignments, and still received a B? I had gotten full marks on every reading reflection, even checked my midterm paper with several Biblical studies majors to make sure it was theologically sound. I let my guard down and prepared for this class. So how could I have possibly received so little as a D?

And then he responded:

"I will definitely help you as much as you need and I am able - while being fair to everyone or course. I will hand back papers tomorrow, you can analyze and evaluate the comments for a day or so and then we can get together and make a plan for the next paper. Whatever you do, don't panic. We still have time and more assignments and can bring things up. Please don't worry. Become motivated and really get committed to making it better but don't panic.

C U 2moro.

Dr C"

Don't panic.

Hadn't I read that in a book somewhere? Yes, yes I have...but in that book, the Earth explodes in the beginning.

Needless to say, I was less than enthused with my answer. But as I pondered it more throughout the morning, the more I became okay with it. Don't panic. Everything's going to be fine. So I have to try for once...God forbid you care enough to put for a bit of effort...Did you die? Will your friends and family abandon you just because you suck in one class?

...

I'm looking for a "no" here, in case you're wondering.