Is it bad that I'm not even looking forward to my birthday?
I can't really place why...I guess for the same reasons I don't look forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas...there's this huge build up and then poof, it's done. I enjoy the building up to an event; somehow is seems so much more fun than the actual holiday itself.
Think about it: Thanksgiving generally begins as soon as November rolls around, Christmas typically starts as soon as Thanksgiving dinner is done. We become so wrapped up in the anticipation and preparation, the original celebration becomes an excuse to stop doing anything, or carrying it out becomes rushed and seen as a chore. Any joy, any...spontaneity, is sapped in a sense of duty.
I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but I guess I haven't been in the best of moods since I got back from the DR anyway. Don't get me wrong, having been there made me more patriotic than I ever thought I'd be (that is, at all). But being there made me feel significant, gave me a purpose, created goals that weren't too far out of reach or intimidating. Being back, it's been difficult to feel any of that at all with the new onslaught of papers, projects, speeches, the demand for missions work hours to be completed, and events that are all, coincidentally falling around the same day I generally celebrate the expulsion of infant me from my mother's uterus.
Perfect ending: Jordan just ran out of the bathroom and shot me dead with his Nerf gun. Brilliant.
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